It literally breaks my heart to think about the state of our marriage about 3 years ago.
Everything was crumbling. I was scared, lost, confused. I was deeply depressed, which felt like every single thing was the hardest thing I had to do. There were so many moments where I thought, I really don’t know if I can do this anymore. I loved this man, but I wasn’t sure if I could keep going.
He loved me, but he wasn’t sure he could keep going, either.
We didn’t talk about our feelings. We let that fear, sadness, and anger drive a wedge between us for so long.
We had no idea how to repair what had been broken.
Let me tell you a little bit about the dark side of our love story.
In 2015, just about 19 months after our wedding, we experienced something that we never could have known would send our marriage into the darkest days:
My husband, who is one of the most talented tree-trimmers in the midwest, fell out of a tree at work, and compacted his spine. This singular injury began a string of health issues that to this day have not totally been resolved.
First, he had a back injury. Then he started having issues with his ribs. To make his injuries better, he began walking up to 5 miles per day. He couldn’t sit or stand or lay down for very long before his injuries bothered him, so walking was his way to keep himself occupied.
Because of the massive amounts of walking he did in a day, he developed some foot problems. We went to a podiatrist, whose advice ended up giving him plantar fasciitis.
He started going to physical therapy for this, and the stretches and exercises his physical therapist gave him led to him injuring his knee and achilles.
Everything was crumbling.
Nothing worked.
No one knew what to do, least of all, us. We didn’t know which doctors to trust. My husband didn’t know what movements would make his injuries worse, and unfortunately the advice of so many doctors ended up making everything worse.
The first year, I tried to be the “good wife.”
I tried to not complain about all of the new responsibilities that fell on me. I tried to make myself as convenient as possible for my husband who was now dealing with physical pain 100% of the time. I didn’t try to ask for much, but every single emotion I swallowed down into my belly so that it wouldn’t rise up and cause a stir, resentment, anger, and hate grew bit by bit.
Year two was the year of my deepest depression.
Darkness was spreading over my heart, my mind, my body and soul, and I had no idea what to do about it. I knew I had two options: stay with my husband in our marriage, or leave. I didn’t know which was the right answer, so I began distancing myself emotionally from my husband.
And he was distancing himself from me, as well.
Neither of us knew what to do.
One night, Halloween 2016, was the worst night, the night that brought everything to a head. He was in excruciating pain, and I had booked a photo job to photograph a band playing for Halloween. I did the job, then went out with some friends, while he was at home alone.
When I got home, the scariest thing happened: we sat down in our living room and told each other our true feelings, and discussed the future of our marriage. We didn’t know how that conversation would end.
We didn’t know if we would stay together or get divorced.
But the problem had come to a breaking point, and we had to finally be honest with each other. It wasn’t easy by any means. It was terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. Telling your spouse the truth of your negative feelings could potentially be one of the worst things you may ever have to do.
But we did. We didn’t heal our marriage the next day. Or the next. But slowly, we chose each other and our marriage, even through the traumatic events life threw at us.
Over the past 3 years, we have taken what we thought was broken beyond repair, and turned it into the most beautiful, solid, marriage I have ever seen.
The situation that could have burned our relationship to ashes instead bonded, fused us together to create something even stronger than the hardships, than the trauma.
There aren’t marriage classes at school.We often learn about love through the adults around us, and let’s be real-how often do they have their shit together anyway? Would your parents even want to tell you about their own hardships?
Building a strong, healthy, healing marriage takes a village.
Building a strong, healthy, healing marriage requires effort and new knowledge.
Building a strong, healthy, healing, JUICY SEXY AMAZING marriage takes time and practice.
The type of marriage that Chris and I have built together is possible for everyone. I truly believe that your marriage (or committed long term relationship!) is the foundation of your family, the health of your family, and the health of your family is the health of society.
Strong, happy, healthy, juicy, sexy marriages/long term committed relationships are the foundation of a healthy society.
I’ve always been passionate about marriage, and recently, something clicked in my heart and brain. The puzzle got snapped together:
I want to teach women what I have learned from coming back from the brink of divorce and saving our marriage.
My new membership program, The Hot Sexy Marriage Club is coming soon! Doors will be opening early January for a short period of time!
In the Hot Sexy Marriage Club, you can expect a monthly lesson and theme where I’ll teach specific techniques I used to save my own marriage, so you can build a strong, juicy, sexy long term relationship or marriage, and receive support from myself as well as the other participants!
I am also releasing a course called Journey to Becoming a Sexual Goddess!
In this course, we will cover the many aspects of having a juicy, sex life and how you can build a sex life that is orgasmic and fulfilling. This course is for single women as well as women in relationships.
I am so excited to bring both of these amazing programs out into the world because while I absolutely ADORE wedding photography/videography, teaching women about how to be sexual goddesses and LOVE their sex life, and teaching women the REAL SKILLS they need to help their marriage be incredibly bad ass are true passions!
More details about the Hot Sex Marriage Club and the Journey to Becoming a Sexual Goddess e-course will be coming very soon!
With all my love,
La Rae
