Time for me to put my preaching pants on, ladies, because we need to have a serious talk, and I know this is a hard topic, scary even, but it’s something that has to be addressed.

How do you love yourself and the way you look on your wedding day, even if you don’t *love* the way you look?

Sure, we know you love your hair and makeup, we know you love your dress, but what if you have self-esteem issues?

Let’s chat about this, shall we?

I don’t think it’s a surprise to any lady that the media makes it really hard to love ourselves. From photoshopped magazine covers, to celebrities getting plastic surgery, to that gorgeous Facebook friend who is always working out or who spends an hour on her hair/makeup everyday. We have a lot of comparing going on.

And then, all of a sudden, you are getting married. YOU are the star of the show for a day (or at least, you should be!). Everyone is fawning over YOU, telling YOU how gorgeous you look, how every little thing about you is beautiful.

This all seems LOVELY, but unless YOU BELIEVE IT TOO, it won’t matter one lick. If you’ve spent years comparing your own beauty to someone else’s, it’s really hard to believe that you look beautiful on your wedding day.

This is something that I have dealt with a lot, and quite frankly, it makes me so freaking sad. It makes me sad because I’ve been there. I myself have fluctuated in weight a LOT. I have beat myself up over my own emotional eating habits. I hate working out because it feels like torture.

But this past year, I have been on a MISSION of self-care and self-love, and it has made a huge difference in my life.

So today, I am going to share some small, easy to implement ways you can start building your self-esteem and practical wedding day tips so that when you get your wedding photos back, you can love how you look in every single photo (yes, even the one with the double chin!).

1. Starting TODAY, reframe how you talk about yourself: Stop being mean to yourself! Whether you are talking to yourself about yourself, or talking to your fiance, or talking to your family, speak loving words about yourself. Even if you don’t like your butt, your tummy, your arms, stop saying mean things about them. Instead, thank your body for helping you live this beautiful life full of joy. Mantra: Thank you, body, for all that you do for me, and for helping me live this beautiful life. 
2. Starting TODAY, even if you don’t like the way you look in a photo, share it on social media anyway: when I was at my heaviest weight, I honestly didn’t feel heavy when I looked in the mirror. But when someone took a photo of me, I could certainly tell. But even though I didn’t like the way I looked, I would still post the photo. Why? Because I deserve the celebrate the beautiful moments of my life, even if I am pudgier than I would like to be. Mantra: I deserve to celebrate and love my life, no matter what. 
3. Start listening to your body’s wants and needs: If you pay attention to how your body feels after you do something, it will give you intel on what makes your body FEEL GOOD. Did that fast food burger, fries, and milkshake REALLY make your body feel good? Or really, did it make your tummy hurt and feel like you wanted to puke? Or did it make you feel sluggish and tired? How does it feel when you drink an energy drink vs when you drink water? Do you have trouble sleeping because it feels like you have too much energy? Go for a long walk the next day, or a run, or play basketball or chase your dogs around the yard. Use that energy, gorgeous! PAY ATTENTION to the small little signals your body is sending you! When you FEEL GOOD, you will feel good about yourself (even if you are NOT trying to lose weight! Feeling good in your body isn’t just about your weight). Mantra: My body KNOWS what she wants and needs, and will guide me if I listen. 
4. Start practicing self-care: self-care is kind of a buzzword these days, and I’m sure if this is a new practice to you, you’ve liking rolled your eyes at someone talking about it. But trust me when I say that self-care is the most important thing you will ever do for yourself. (If you don’t know, I have a personal blog, and have recently just written a post about self-care. To read that post, click here) For the past 3 years, I have been learning a lot about self-care, and now call myself a self-care junkie. I am obsessed with self-care! Remember above in #2, where I said you deserve to celebrate your life, no matter what? Well, practicing self-care is the way you prove to yourself that you are worthy of your wants and desires JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE ALIVE. There are SO many ways you can practice self-care, some of them are easier and some are harder. Self-care can look like blocking off one night a week that is a “me night,” where you make a date with yourself to do something you love, such as painting, writing, going to a move alone, taking a long hot bubble bath, reading in a hammock, going for a run in your favorite spot, getting a mani/pedi, visiting a museum, etc. It can look like saying NO when someone asks you to do something you do not want to do. Self-care can look like creating boundaries with people who always want to take take take from you, but never give. Self-care can be cleaning your house, self care can be paying someone else to clean your house. I think you get the picture, right? Self-care during your wedding, though, may also include having hard conversations with people who will be involved, like when someone keeps giving you unwanted advice, or is trying to tell you how to throw your wedding. That’s some higher level self-care, but if you start with the smaller stuff, you will eventually be a self-care junkie too and it won’t phase you at all. Mantra: I am worthy of my wants and needs simply because I am alive. 
5. Eat healthy and move your body: Please note that I didn’t say “lose weight.” Losing weight for your wedding is only important if you WANT to do it. But eating healthy and moving your body is a huge part of self-care, and you will feel SO GOOD. Also note that I didn’t say “exercise” or “work out.” That’s because moving your body in a way you enjoy is so much more important than working out! Do you love going for long walks in the woods? DO IT. Do you love rollerblading? DO IT! Do you love dancing? DO IT! Do you love yoga? DO IT! Moving your body helps you feel good, feel strong, feel beauty, and feel healthy, even if you’re not losing weight. And your body is not a garbage can, so stop putting garbage into your body. Mantra: I treat myself like a queen by moving my body in ways I enjoy and putting only top quality food into my body. 
6.  If you don’t like a certain part of your body, do not buy a wedding dress that showcases that part: Is there a part of your body that you’re just not in love with? Don’t wear a wedding dress that shows off that body part. It will show up in all of your photos, and you just won’t like it. Luckily, there are so many types of gorgeous wedding dresses that are so flattering these days! Mantra: I look gorgeous in my wedding dress. 
7. Know that your fiance (and basically all of your friends) has seen your face look weird: this is for those candid moments where maybe you’re laughing REALLY hard and your face doesn’t look like you want it to. Maybe you didn’t know you have resting bitch face. Those beautiful, raw, real, candid moments of your wedding may show you faces that you don’t know you make-after all, we don’t always know how we look! When this happens, just know that your fiance is the person who looks at your face THE MOST and this person has fallen in love with you and wants ONLY YOU for the rest of their life. That means that they don’t care if you think your face looks weird 😉 Mantra: My fiance knows all the faces I make, all of my little movements, and loves me endlessly.

 

My biggest advice, besides the ones I’ve listed above, is that confidence and self-love must be cultivated BEFORE your wedding day. Confidence and self-love DOES NOT HAPPEN OVERNIGHT, my darlings. And even if you are not where you want to be on your journey, (ie, not at the weight you want to be, in the job you want to be, saving the amount of money you want to be), you are still worthy of a beautiful life.

What was your biggest takeaway from the list? How can YOU start today?

Sending you so much love, beautiful, as you embark on your journey of self-love.

xoxo,

Wild Soul Weddings

Iowa, Idaho, Oregon, North Carolina, Tennessee, New Orleans, Florida elopement, destination, traveling wedding photographer and videographer